{"id":2768,"date":"2023-09-03T15:10:29","date_gmt":"2023-09-03T20:10:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/claremontcoloniccenter.com\/?p=2768"},"modified":"2023-09-10T08:34:36","modified_gmt":"2023-09-10T13:34:36","slug":"anger-gets-a-bad-rap-but-it-can-be-an-asset-experts-say-heres-what-to-do-with-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/claremontcoloniccenter.com\/?p=2768","title":{"rendered":"Anger Gets a Bad Rap, But It Can be an Asset, Experts Say. Here\u2019s What to do With It."},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Anger Gets a Bad Rap, But It Can be an Asset, Experts Say. Here\u2019s What to do With It. <\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\tWhite hot, violent, cruel, wrathful \u2014 the words we associate with anger don\u2019t sound so pretty.<\/strong><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAnger is a particular type of an emotional state that can receive a lot of judgment from ourselves and from other people,\u201d said Dr. Brett Ford, associate professor of psychology at the University of Toronto.

\n\nIt might be an unpleasant emotion to experience, and it might be culturally discouraged, but we need anger, she added.

\nSydney road’s evening traffic, Brunswick, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

\n\n\u201cThe actual experience of anger being deemed as bad is actually, I think, one of the biggest impediments to our emotional processing,\u201d said Jaime Mahler, a therapist and trauma specialist based in New York. \u201cYou\u2019re taking a very useful emotion, and you\u2019re squashing it and you\u2019re repressing it, and you\u2019re saying it doesn\u2019t matter.\u201d

\n\nEvidence has suggested that minority groups and women face particular cultural pressure to tamp down on their anger, Ford said.

\n\nEmotions tend to have social expectations, or scripts, she said. \u201cAnd anger is one that tends to have quite powerful and a prohibitive scripts and norms,\u201d Ford added.

\n\nWhile many people may feel the need to resist or hide their anger, these mental health experts are urging the opposite. Anger, they say, is an important tool we should better learn to wield in a kind, healthy and productive way.

\n\nAnd as unpleasant as it may be to feel, the consequences of denying it could be worse, said Deborah Ashway, a licensed clinical mental health counselor based in New Bern, North Carolina.

\n\n\u201cIf you grew up learning that you\u2019re not allowed \u2026 to express anger, after a while, it turns in on itself,\u201d Ashway said. \u201cAnd that turns into guilt.\u201d

\nAnger can inform and protect you<\/b>

\n\nAnger isn\u2019t all doom and gloom.

\n\n\u201cOur emotions are our highest guidance that we have, you know, that is available to us,\u201d Ashway said. \u201cAnger comes up as a warning. Like, \u2018something\u2019s going on here.\u2019\u201d

\n\nThat flush of anger can alert us to a violation of our values, a feeling of danger, or a sense of neglect, she added.

\n\nAnd add to that, \u201canger is a protective emotion,\u201d said Mahler, author of \u201cToxic Relationship Recovery: Your Guide to Identifying Toxic Partners, Leaving Unhealthy Dynamics, and Healing Emotional Wounds after a Breakup.\u201d

\n\nWhen expressed in a constructive way, anger can drive people to stand up for their needs and opinions to be sure they are taken care of, Ashway said.

\n\n\u201cIt helps us set boundaries. It helps self-preservation. It helps us be assertive and advocate for ourselves. It helps in conflict resolution, if it\u2019s managed appropriately,\u201d she added.

\n\nThat drive can also push us to take action about the things we are angry about, whether that is having a difficult conversation with a friend or taking political action, Ford said.

\n\n\u201cIf something is kind of getting in our way and we need to overcome some sort of obstacle, anger can help provide us with motivation to do that,\u201d she said.

\nWhen it\u2019s no longer just anger<\/b>

\n\nBut what about the malice and violence? That is often tied to rage \u2014 not anger, Ashway said.

\n\nAnd yes, they are very different.

\n\n\u201cViolence is bad. Punching walls is bad. Throwing garbage cans is bad,\u201d added Mahler. But in those cases, \u201cwe\u2019re talking about the outcome of unprocessed anger, not anger in and of itself.\u201d

\n\nRage, she said, is old, unprocessed anger.

\n\n\u201cRage is a lot different because it\u2019s not serving a healthy purpose anymore. It\u2019s more destructive,\u201d Ashway said.

\n\nIf you are angry, you can take a step back, get the information, and make a choice based on your emotions. But enraged people are no longer in control of their emotions anymore, Ashway said.

\n\n\u201cYou can\u2019t really get to that level of emotional expression unless your anger has not been processed for a very long time,\u201d Mahler said. \u201cAnger processed can lead to healing but anger unprocessed can lead to violence.\u201d

\nHow to process your anger (without fixating) <\/b>

\n\nThere is evidence that chronic, intense anger can lead to poor physical and mental health, Ford said. That means that ruminating or letting anger fester can be counterproductive.

\n\n\u201c(Emotions) actually aren\u2019t meant to be very long lived. They\u2019re meant to kind of help us manage a particular moment in our environment,\u201d she said.

\n\nWhich is why it is even more important to stay with the feeling and process it fully, Ford said.

\n\nBut that\u2019s not always possible in the moment of rage, Mahler said. She compared it to someone having a panic attack rather than anxiety.

\n\n\u201cYou can\u2019t really rationalize someone out of panic, you just have to calm their body down,\u201d she Mahler said. \u201cSame with rage. You just have to calm their body down and get them to a better state of consciousness.\u201d

\n\nFrom there, you can start to process the emotion.

\n\nStart by letting it in and sitting with it, Ashway said.

\n\nInstead of letting it pressurize until it bursts, recognize your feeling without judgment and observe, Mahler said. Even if that means setting a 5-minute timer for the period you will allow yourself to feel angry.

\n\n\u201cThen the next stage is to try to understand why anger showed up in that particular situation,\u201d Mahler said.

\n\n\u201cWhat might be impeding on your energy or thoughts? What are you protecting yourself from? What do you need that isn\u2019t being met?\u201d are questions Ashway wants people to ask when observing their anger.

\n\n\u201cAnd then once you\u2019re aware of it, you\u2019re in control of it. It\u2019s no longer going to control you now,\u201d she said, adding that is the place from which you can decide how to move forward.


\nContributor: Madeline Holcombe, CNN Heath<\/i>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Anger Gets a Bad Rap, But It Can be an Asset, Experts Say. Here\u2019s What to do With It. White hot, violent, cruel, wrathful \u2014 the words we associate with anger don\u2019t sound so pretty.\u201cAnger is a particular type of an emotional state that can receive a lot of judgment from ourselves and from other […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2768","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-health","category-lifestyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/claremontcoloniccenter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2768","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/claremontcoloniccenter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/claremontcoloniccenter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/claremontcoloniccenter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/claremontcoloniccenter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2768"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/claremontcoloniccenter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2768\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2772,"href":"https:\/\/claremontcoloniccenter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2768\/revisions\/2772"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/claremontcoloniccenter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2768"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/claremontcoloniccenter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2768"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/claremontcoloniccenter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2768"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}